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Writer's pictureMadhulika Appasani

Is Mom-guilt Normal? How To Manage Mom-Guilt?


Mom guilt is real! I’ve coached over 1000 women and 100% of my mom clients said they experienced mom-guilt to some extent. Guilt hits us moms most when we try to do something for ourselves. While it’s supposed to be normal that we prioritise ourselves, generations of women have sacrificed a lot for their children and that raises the bar for us. Automatically we start to think ‘what will our child/children lose out on if we prioritise ourselves and not them?’.


I’ve personally faced this at least 200 times in the last 4 years. I usually feel guilty every time I plan a trip with my husband, when my work takes longer than 4 hours, when I work out & when I go out with friends (the list goes on). While I know that I need that time, my inner voice kills 🔪me with guilt.


Honestly, I don’t know how to not feel guilty. But, over years, I’ve gotten better at handling my emotions. And that’s the same I share with my clients & with you👇🏼.


So what do you do? Manage the guilt or stop taking alone time? Where’s the fine balance? It’s honestly a mix of both. Sometimes, I take the feedback as I’ve been away from my kids for long and I should cut down on my pleasures for a bit. Other times, I tell myself that I need this alone time to perform better as a mom.


🪞🧟‍♀️ First, Check In With Yourself:

Are you feeling burnt out? Are you becoming a bitter mom around kids? Chances are you need some time for yourself. The emotion ‘guilt’ has helped me navigate myself overtime.


🧺🏡 Get Organised. Plan ahead what will the kids do when you take time for yourself? Tie up your alone time around the time kids are engaged or sleeping. Having a parallel routine reduces the intensity of the guilt.



🧘‍♀️💆🏻‍♀️ Talk Better To Yourself:

Imagine how much more you can do to your kids if you prioritize yourself for now. Remember to be kind to yourself. We are human and we need to acknowledge that. Being a supermom can be exciting at first but exhausting in the long run if you don’t take your breaks.



🔮🤹‍♀️ Go Into The Future & Look Back:

The true measure is different for each mom. Ultimately do what helps you sleep better at night. Imagine yourself doing what you truly want and ask yourself, will I feel bad of this decision 1 or 3 years from now? This can help you navigate yourself better.


🔁 Check for patterns. How often do you feel burnt out? Factor in some activities for yourself within these patterns. Best is to make sure you incorporate self care time in your weekly planning.




What do you tell yourself when you feel guilty about taking me-time?! Comment below 👇🏼 and share your experience. Your powerful self talk might inspire others to balance better 🤗




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