You only get what you put in. Don't expect more till you do more.

Aug 29, 2019
2 min read

Updated: Mar 10, 2020

Often, I found myself in situations I didn’t choose for myself & most times I couldn’t get out of these situations. Blaming others/ circumstances was my response to any situation I felt I had no control over.

Gradually, I noticed that I was doing the reverse, assuming things won’t go my way and started blaming even before things went wrong. It became an addiction & like any addiction, it gave me an instant high!

Blaming grew on me like a slow poison: 1. I felt like I never did anything wrong! 2. I was OK to not achieve my dreams because it’s not my fault. 3. It felt good. Yes, you read it right. There was something good about being the victim and gaining sympathy – I could befriend anyone almost instantly whenever I spoke about my high potential that I couldn’t capture because of someone else or my current phase of life.

However, in the long run I noticed that I was not going too far in various aspects of my life – like career, relationships, fitness, or even the friendships that came in because of my very venting. So, what went wrong? The reason I even considered gaining control over the blame game was this: One day I realized that even in the aspects that I could potentially have control over, I ended up blaming and complaining. Blaming, complaining and giving excuses lower our value. The same friends whom we attracted by complaining will begin to pay the price.

They may feel one or all the following

‘Oh, she is always complaining!’

‘I don’t feel positive around her’

‘I don’t think I can make her happy how much ever I try!’

......and slowly these friendships fall apart.

When we blame, we are sending out the message that ‘No matter how hard you try, I will find a reason to be unhappy with you.’ And this leaves the people around us undervalued and unappreciated.